sashiburi

It has been a long time since I’ve blogged. Life is getting so busy… and I haven’t really had any time to stop and take a breath.

Senior year isn’t really hard but I don’t know, my grades are plummeting :[ errrgh this is bad!

I don't have time to really think about anything but COLLEGE. I'm constantly studying for some ACT/SAT thing, doing college apps, scholarship apps, etc. I don't know but I'm sooo stressed out right now. I wish colleges would pick you and then get everything done with. ahhhh.

Ever since my sister came home I haven't really been doing anything but the minimum schoolwork and maybe going out. I think she kinda threw my routine off. But that's okay, it is nice to have someone to hang out with ^^

Senior year isn't so bad. I don't really care though because it feels like every year. I just want to hurry up and graduate. I don't care about anythingggggg but getting out of school. I want to go travel. I think I will work really really really really hard and make as much money as I can. Then I'll go travel the world and probably die in brazil or something, lol. I just want to LEAVE. My family is seriously one of wanderers. Our feet won't stop traveling, we go from place to place, never really settling down. But that's hard because we can't stay in one place to make friends or lovers. And ultimately we can only go home to one another. Maybe I'll find a guy who will travel with me >:]

That would be nice wouldn’t it? But its so idealistic! Like that would reaaaally happen. I don’t think guys want girls who are always going from place to place.

I was looking at that polaroid site with “before I die”… and even though I don’t have a polaroid camera, I just want to say it.

Before I die, I want to LIVE.

I know, cliched but it is so true. Maybe we really do only have one life and our very existence shouldn’t be something sad. I mean, yes, life is hard. But that’s what the point of life is…to overcome it all and search for true happiness. Because without happiness what is life? And what reason do we have to continue moving on? We strive to get higher paying jobs because we want something- happiness. Whatever we do in life it ultimately results in our happiness. Maybe sacrifices don’t seem to give us any happiness but they do. It gives us a sense of satsifaction and that’s what happiness is made of too.

I want to LIVE HAPPY and DIE HAPPY.

So maybe I’m being quite hypocriticial and I’m not really happy with where I am right now. But all that will change when I go to college or well, at least get away from HERE.